branding

Why locally sourced is best – Better even than organic

This is a little piece I wrote for Angels by Day, our favourite day nursery, a few years ago. In the end it was heavily edited as it was perhaps a little scary for little people to cope with, but here it is in full. I think the logic behind it still makes lots and lots of sense.

Hello I’m an apple. A lovely Bramley Apple.

The nicest apple in the whole wide Veld.

I’m so tired. I just feel horrible and battered and bruised and awful. I haven’t always been like this, so let me tell you a little about my life.

I was born about three months ago in south Africa in a beautiful warm sunny place in a shady orchard with a lovely river running at the bottom of the garden. I was sure my life was going to be idyllic. I remember when I was just a blossom having big plans to be the tastiest apple the world had ever seen.

When I started to sprout, I was sprayed with this nasty chemical stuff. They told me it was to protect me and help me grow, but it just made me smell funny and feel all dirty. After this I went on a bit of a growth spurt and pretty soon was one of the big boys.

And just as I was starting to feel like a leggy teenager all spotty and gangly and a bit too big for my body, this massive machine came and pulled us off the tree and well fell into a huge washing machine. We tumbled about for ages and ages and I thought we were being washed, but when we rolled out, I had this horrid waxy stuff all over my skin. Eeeugh!

I fell onto another big conveyer belt and shot along bashing into my brothers, cousins and loads of apples I’d never even met before. It was very scary. I just wanted to go home to my simple life.

Suddenly we shot into a spinning machine and were all wrapped in a strange blue paper, a bit like toilet roll but harder on my young fresh skin and I was thrown into a box in a little solitary compartment that didn’t quite fit my shape properly that made me really uncomfortable and my bottom ache.

But then it got worse. They started to chill the box down until we were all shivering with cold.

I don’t remember much about the next few months other than it was dark and cold and we rolled about with the movement of the sea and the bumping of some different lorries and trucks. For the whole of this time we were freezing, dark and very lonely. I couldn’t believe my life could get any worse…

…but it did.

We were thrust into the light feeling travel sick and awful and thrown onto a shelf ready for the lovely humans to come and eat us.

But back to the present day, you’ve seen what I’ve been through and how hard a life I’ve had. My vitamins have gone, I’m waxy, tired and horrible. I’ll never live up to my potential taste. Eat me if you dare, but I bet you wouldn’t swap my life for yours.

The nicest apple in the world

Hello I’m a Bramley apple. I heard about my cousin from South Africa, the poor thing, he has been tortured for his whole life and I look at how I’ve been brought up and feel so sorry for him and the poor people who have to eat him.

I grew up in Southwell, just North of Nottingham. The farmer who looked after me was a lovely man. He let me grow up slowly and nurtured me with natural and healthy food so I grew big and strong and tasty – in my own good time.

I can’t wait for the day when he’ll pick me to be the one for your tea. Believe me I’m ready. Its what I’m trained to do. You see I’m fresh, naturally strong and the kids will just LOVE me.

brand values, branding

Brand Beckham and the end of flawless brands

David and Victoria Beckham in leather for the 1999 Versace party
David and Victoria Beckham in leather for the 1999 Versace party

This weekend was a milestone for brands everywhere. One of the strongest – Brand Beckham – admitted they had made a mistake when they wore their matching leather suits to a Versace party in 1999. According to Vogue David  said “I look back on some stuff and think I can’t believe I actually wore that,” he said. “I have no regrets, though – I knew at the time it was good!”

This may not sound too significant at first glance, but I think it is. I really think it is.

In those days, long ago in the life of brands, when glossy and shiny was the norm over today’s more matt black world, brands needed to be flawless. In 2001, this song by The Ones confirmed it.

So what can we learn?

Well, according to Trendwatching.com, brands now need to show their flaws for their fans to continue to love them. Flawless is no more and brands, flaws and all are where it’s at.

So for me, this move by the Beckham’s only serves to show what a brilliant brand strategy they have been running for years and that it’s an early sign that brands with flaws win.

I’m not sure if I have seen such a seismic shift in brand thinking for years and I think it is so significant a change that it will affect every single brand in the developed world over the coming years.

It’s a big subject, so i’ll be adding more to it soon.

(Thankyou to HolyMoly for the use of the Beckham picture)

brand values, branding

If rebranding Waterstone’s was pointless, then debranding the rebrand is even more pointless

There is an old saying in the design community that changing a logo if you change nothing else is as useful as rearranging the chairs on the deck of a sinking ship. I wrote about this in 2010 when Waterstone’s unveiled their less than radical new logo. I was slightly less thann complementary about the work itself and the reasons behind the change. You can read that here.

But it would appear that they have now made things even worse by going back to the old logo, without the apostrophe.

waterstones.com logo

Now i’m not going to get as pathetic as the Daily Mail with their typically over the top three headlines about it;

Move sparked outrage among customers – Really. That is utter crap. Who cares that much? Perhaps if some of the people who are so outraged by the lack of an apostrophe went into Waterstone’s and bought a book or two from them, they wouldn’t be in this much trouble.
Punctuation experts say it’s ‘grammatically incorrect’ – Yes, it’s a logo, a name of a business, not a piece of work being peer reviewed by academics. Advertising generally has always played a little fast and loose with punctuation. the ‘comma and’ or starting sentences with an ‘And’ debate came from the creative industry.
Twitter users warn the change is another step towards the ‘extinction’ of the apostrophe – Who cares? There are bigger things to worry about.

But the fundamental point is that Waterstone’s still haven’t changed their business and this sadly will do absolutely nothing to halt their slide. I am a very big book fan and consume books by the metre but I buy very little from Waterstone’s. Waterstones or even waterstones.com.

Unless they can engage us again, all the rebrands and debrands in the world will do nothing to stop this lovely old tug boat from sinking.

Brand Experience, brand values, branding

The Tonsorial Artist – Holt – A brilliant barber and a brilliant brand

I was lucky enough to be staying in Holt last night at Byfords Posh B&B (which is fabulous) and had a bit of time to kill, so took myself off to find a haircut. Looking quite unassuming in the centre of the brilliant little town was the Tonsorial Artist. And I have to say it is the best barbers experience I have ever had.

Firstly the music. Laid back and cool music by the Skatalites and two guys working there with luxuriant facial hair and a total focus on doing a great job.

The Tonsorial Artist - Holt, Norfolk
The Tonsorial Artist – Holt, Norfolk

I had my meagre barnet tidied up by the slightly scary looking Doug, who was great, incredibly knowledgable and he gave me a great cut.

Doug from The Tonsorial Artist - Holt, Norfolk
Doug from The Tonsorial Artist – Holt, Norfolk

All this and it was only £11.50 – admittedly more than I pay at my local barbers, but it felt like a real treat.

I love places like this and I would love to get my hands on their brand to do some work with – It would franchise out beautifully and would have people queuing out the door if it was done as well as they have delivered their outlet.. People who are doing great work and clearly differentiating themselves in what must be a quite crowded market.

If you’re ever in Holt, stay at Byfords Posh B&B and get a hair cut by the Tonsorial Artists.

Brand for Nottingham, branding

The retail sector, HMV and the public sector strike

This is not a political piece, but more of an observation of how much of an effect the public sector strike may have had on the high street spending.

For me, it looked very much like the kick start that many retailers were hoping for. I can genuinely say, that I have not seen HMV as busy as it was on Wednesday this week for some years. It was like Christmas eve in there with people grabbing almost anything with locust like avarice. They did have lots of multi buy offers, (two for £10 etc) but it was buzzing.

Disappointingly for them, the brand new technology section, seemed to be the only area you could bring your cat for a fast look around. It was their CD’s, DVD and overpriced computer games that were doing well. I was a bit peeved to find they had gone back to their policy of a higher price in the store to online, for the one thing I had gone in for.

Traffic in Nottingham was almost at gridlock from around 10.00 until well after 18.00, again a Christmas norm, but unusual, even on a Saturday.

So whilst many were complaining and many were clearly striking, there will have been a very marked positive retail effect, that few probably expected and many, many will welcome.

Maybe its the glimmer of hope the economy needs.

branding

A simple guide to how the bailout package works

It is a slow day in a little Greek Village.
The rain is beating down and the streets are deserted.
Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit.
On this particular day a rich German tourist is driving through the village, stops at the local hotel and lays a €100 note on the desk, telling the hotel owner he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one to spend the night.
The owner gives him some keys and, as soon as the visitor has walked upstairs, the hotelier grabs the €100 note and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher.
The butcher takes the €100 note and runs down the street to repay his debt to the pig farmer. The pig farmer takes the €100 note and heads off to pay his bill at the supplier of feed and fuel.
The guy at the Farmers’ Co-op takes the €100 note and runs to pay his drinks bill at the taverna.
The tavern owner slips the money along to the local prostitute drinking at the bar, who has also been facing hard times and has had to offer him “services” on credit.
The hooker then rushes to the hotel and pays off her room bill to the hotel owner with the €100 note.
The hotel proprietor then places the €100 note back on the counter so the rich traveller will not suspect anything. At that moment the traveller comes down the stairs, picks up the €100 note, states that the rooms are not satisfactory, pockets the money, and leaves town.
No one produced anything. No one earned anything. However, the whole village is now out of debt and looking to the future with a lot more optimism.

And that, Ladies and Gentlemen, is how the bailout package works

Thanks to my mate Patrick Chapman for sharing that wisdom with me.

branding

Boots Opticians – The value of an app

I was playing around with this rather clever app today as it was developed  by a a team that had a very talented, good friend of mine involved. You can see it here:

Boots Opticians - Simple eye test app
Boots Opticians - Simple eye test app

My eyesight isn’t bad, but it certainly isn’t perfect and it was a Boots Optician that told me that quite recently.

But he also told me something else that was rather important.

He told me that I had critically high blood pressure and referred me to the doctor immediately. Six months later, it’s now back under control and it looks like i’ll be on meds for the rest of my days. Probably a pretty good job they found it then.

But would this app have been able to do the same?

No, but it is set to be on the safe side and does advise you that you need to get their advice if in any doubt at all.

It’s beautifully easy to use and probably one of the most intuitive apps i’ve seen yet (apart from our own obviously – which you can see here)

Does it undermine the expertise of an optician? Probably not.

Does it do the job of an optician? Definitely not.

Is it a fun game to test the oldies amongst you?

Well yes and it does it really rather well.

brand values, branding

Berocca TV ad – Log rolling

I love this ad. Not because it is expensively produced, glossy or particularly clever, but because it is so simple and made me smile. The end line backs it up perfectly and for a brand to deliver values that are achievable (the feeling, not the log rolling) is a god place to be. What they are claiming is that this product won’t change your world completely, but it will make you feel a little bit better.

I’m off to buy some now and then look for some logs to dance around on.

brand values, branding

The New Zealand brand – summed up in one minute and 18 seconds

The Haka has always been something I have watched with fear and admiration, but today in the final of the Rugby World cup, I saw it for the first time as a brand marker for New Zealand. It shows their power, their determination and their ability to stand, miles from anywhere else in the world as a distinct nation, that is proud of its roots.

If you were going to write a few rules about a brand, they would be simple.

Do things well

Mean them, ie live your values

Build on your roots

Be differentiated.

They seem to have done all of these rather well here. And to be honest, it’s the first time I have ever seen anyone respond to it like the French. What a brilliant advertisement for the country and the sport of rugby.

branding

Tesco sandwiches and health

I had a bit of a wake up call yesterday with the discovery that I have (very) high blood pressure.

Now I’m not (that) fat, I think I eat pretty well and almost all of my food is cooked fresh as I love cooking.

But initial feedback is that my salt intake is probably much to high, so I’ve started looking at everything I eat.

Not sure that LoSalt and others like it are much of a solution as a friend of mine pointed out yesterday that it just swaps sodium for potassium, which is different but still bad.

This was highlighted years ago in this BBC report from 2007.

But nothing seems to have been done about it. The lowest salt sandwich in the whole of the Tesco lunchtime offer (including all their ‘healthy options’) delivers you 19% of your total daily recommended intake. The highest is over 43%, which is horrendous. Weirdly, the sandwich fillers they sell are all quite low fat in themselves, which has to point the finger at their bread.

I guess I am going to have to start making my own lunches, as Tesco aren’t changing fast, if at all.

Brands that kill their customers, die in the end themselves too.